


You're not broken.

by Seal_in_Cyberspace



Series: RWBY Stories [56]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Asexual Ruby Rose (RWBY), Asexuality, Bisexual Blake Belladonna, Coming Out, Demigirl, Demigirl Ruby Rose, F/F, Gen, Gender Identity, Happy Ending, Minor Angst, Nonbinary Character, Sexual Identity, Sexuality discussion, demigender, the second chapter deals with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20525399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seal_in_Cyberspace/pseuds/Seal_in_Cyberspace
Summary: Written using the 'Coming out' prompt.~Ruby talks to someone who kind of knows what she's going through. It helps a lot more than she expected it to.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was for me to vent, ngl  
Coming to terms with yourself is probably one of the hardest things anyone has ever had to do  
They may be a little ooc because some of this involves my own feelings, but uuhhhh- Enjoyyy!

"Hey, Blake?" a voice suddenly cuts through the misty air, prompting the faunus to glance over at the bathroom door with an elegantly raised eyebrow, "Can I talk to you?"

Ruby is the one standing in the doorway, a thoughtful frown pulling at her lips. Blake had just finished in the shower. Her teammate had waited long enough for her to be somewhat dressed in a grey sports bra and black jeans before coming in; Blake stares back at her for a moment- partially damp hair framing her face, ears flicking slightly atop her head to rid themselves of the water still clinging to them- then she smiles. "Of course, I'll be out in a-"

"No!" Ruby suddenly shouts, and Blake's eyes widen in surprise, feline ears standing in attention, "I-I mean... could we maybe just... talk in here? I don't-" a deep breath, "I don't really want Weiss or Yang to hear."

Blake's smile falls. "Yeah, that's fine," she responds, concern evident in her voice as she places the towel she'd been holding down on the counter, "Is everything okay?"

There's a pause, and it's long enough for the faunus to know that the younger girl is choosing her words very carefully- causing Blake's eyebrows to furrow. "I think so." Ruby finally says, frown only deepening as she does so. "But I wanted to ask you about something."

That's a little troubling to the faunus- Ruby rarely comes to her for serious talks. It isn't that she doesn't trust her, because she trusts her just as much as anyone else on the team, but most of the time it's just easier to talk to her sister or her own partner. Blake understands that completely, and she's never been upset about it either. It does make_ sense _after all. And now that she has Ruby telling her that she wants to talk about something that she doesn't want Yang _or_ Weiss to know about? She feels her heart rate pick up a little bit because of the dread, hoping everything is okay with their leader. "Go ahead." she says, hopping up onto the counter, eyes never leaving Ruby.

"I don't wanna be... like... _insensitive, _or anything. If my question is too personal, you don't have to answer, okay?"

"Okay." Blake answers, despite the fact that she has been open, has told her team almost _everything _about her past at this point and she really isn't sure how Ruby could step over boundaries that barely exist anymore.

Ruby nods at her affirmation, before taking another deep breath. For a moment, she doesn't say anything, and Blake tilts her head slightly out of curiosity. "You never really told us... but from your old stories I kind of assumed- A-Are you-" she sighs, "You're bisexual, right?"

Blake's mouth falls open slightly as her eyes widen. Now that she thinks about it, she hasn't really stated her sexuality outright to them- never thought it mattered if she _did. _She didn't really hide it either- she had offhandedly mentioned a girlfriend she'd had in the past a few times. She really isn't sure what Ruby is getting at, but if it will help her with whatever it is troubling her, Blake doesn't mind voicing the way she is. "I am," she confirms, "Why?"

"I just... um..." Ruby hesitates, her eyes falling to her feet, "Did you ever come out to your parents?"

"Yeah, when I was 11, I think." Blake recalls, and when Ruby looks back up at her, there's a new emotion in her eyes. _Dread. _As if she's worried about needing to do the same th- _Oh. _Now not being able to talk to Yang about it made sense, instead she chose someone she felt went through a similar process. She doesn’t know about Blake and Yang being together- no one does- as far as she knows, Yang is straight. She's scared of coming out to her family...

"How did they take it? I mean, I know that people don't really know as much about other sexualities as they do about strictly being gay or straight."

Blake's curiosity was peaked, but she didn't want to push Ruby to say anything she wasn't ready to say, so instead she just answers her question. "My dad wasn't really the happiest at first." Blake admits, "He had always imagined me growing up and taking over the White Fang with the man I love, but he came around very quickly. He realized that he wasn't going to change me- I wouldn't let him, or anyone else do that. The way I feel is my business, not his. Plus, he also saw how hypocritical it would be of him. After all, he spent every waking hour fighting for equal rights between human and faunus, so what made another suppressed minority any different?" Blake smiles, "My mom surprised me a little, I'll admit." she lets out a small chuckle at the memory, "She told me that her past lovers weren't all strictly male. I- I was _shocked _obviously. After all, I couldn't really see my mom with anyone other than my father, but uh... yeah. They were both pretty supportive. I'm lucky I have good parents."

Ruby had smiled near the middle of Blake's small rant, but then her eyes had fallen to her feet again. By the time Blake was finished, her frown had returned, and now a silence stretches between them. The faunus stares at her quietly for a few long moments, then she sighs. She knows how scary it can be to take that step and actually tell the ones you love. "Ruby-"

"I'm asexual."

Blake stops mid-sentence, all her planned words falling from her tongue. Now she understands why Ruby had made sure to throw in the 'I know that people don't really know as much about other sexualities as they do about strictly being gay or straight'. "Correct me if I'm wrong," Blake says softly, "Asexuality refers to not feeling sexual attraction, right?" Ruby nods, still not meeting her eyes. Blake smiles as she hops off of the counter, and then she pulls Ruby into a tight hug. "Okay." she murmurs into the younger girl's hair, "There's nothing wrong with that, you know?" She hates that the leader has to be scared about being who she is. The world can be a cruel place. She knows the feeling. Knows how it feels to be told your feelings aren't real, or that you're wrong for something you can't change. She'd never wish that upon _anyone_, let alone _Ruby. _"So don't let anyone tell you that you aren't in the right mind, or that you're _broken, _because you're not. We all love you no matter what, Ruby. _Please _remember that."

There's a brief moment of silence, and then Ruby is returning the embrace tightly as she rests her head against the taller girl's chest, letting out a small cry of relief. "Thank you." she says, a smile evident in her tone.

"You deserve to be yourself, you hear me? Don't let _anyone_ guide you astray, Ruby Rose." Blake says, her hand moving in slow circles on her back, "And for what it's worth, I know Yang and Weiss would agree with me. And... I've only met him once, but I think your father would too."

Ruby pulls back slightly, eyebrows furrowed. "When did you... when did you meet my dad?"

Blake bites her lip, then glances away with a small blush, "Uh... a month ago, I believe?"

"Wha-"

"You were on your trip with Qrow, Oscar, and Weiss. Yang and I decided to go to Patch."

"Why?" Ruby asks, knowing that the faunus is leaving something out. 

"Let's not worry about me right now, okay?" Blake says with a small smirk, "I just want you to know that you have my full support no matter what happens."

Ruby's smile returns- though this time it's noticeably wider. "Thanks. I really appreciate it. Like, _so _much."

"There's no need to thank me." Blake says, finally stepping back from their embrace. "Just be happy, and be yourself."

"I will." Ruby nods, "But only if you answer one more question."

"Fire away," Blake says, though she already knows that Ruby's going to ask about the subject she'd just failed to change.

"You and Yang must have went to Patch for _some_ reason. What was it?" Ruby asks out of curiosity, and the faunus smiles softly. She's glad to see some of the usual Ruby shining through despite the secret weighing her down. 

She shrugs, "I was going to meet him eventually. We had the opportunity, so that happened sooner rather than later."

"You're saying it like it's mandatory. _Weiss_ never met him." Ruby says with a tilt of her head, and Blake finds herself biting her lip again.

"Yeah, well, Weiss isn't Yang's girlfriend." Ruby's jaw drops, and Blake smiles nervously with a small chuckle. "Surprise?"

"You- When- You two are _dating_?"

"Yes," Blake grins, "Have been for about 7 months."

"7 mon-- Why did you never tell us?"

"We've been rather busy. I mean, those trips were the only real breaks we've had since Atlas." Blake reminds her, "The world isn't exactly saving itself."

"How did I never realize?" Ruby whispers under her breath.

"You were busy with your own stuff, Ruby." Blake smiles, "And I don't blame you. Sexuality can be a _bitch _to figure out."

Ruby laughs, both at her teammate's words, and at the realization that Blake's way of speaking has shifted a little bit in the past few months, some of the things she says sound like something you'd hear from Yang. Now she knows why. "It really can."

"But seriously," Blake says suddenly, and Ruby's eyes meet hers, "Tell them whenever you're ready, okay? No one's rushing you- You don't owe anyone anything. I'll always be here for you as a shoulder to lean on."

"Thank you, Blake." Ruby smiles, "Thank you _so _much."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not a girl.”
> 
> Blake’s eyebrows raise out of shock, “Huh?”
> 
> “I don’t… I don’t feel like a girl.”

“...Blake? Are you awake?” Blake’s ears twitch atop her head, her eyebrows furrow, and her eyes blink open. She glances at the clock. 12:57am. Concern immediately washes over her as she hums in response, eyes flicking to the mirror on Ruby’s side of the room to see that the girl is sitting cross-legged with downcast eyes on her bunk. “I’m sorry… I just… Can I come down there?”

“Yeah,” when it comes out raspy, the faunus clears her throat as silently as possible before pushing herself up into a sitting position. “_ Yeah _, of course.”

It’s just them in the room right now. Weiss and Yang had gone out earlier, and have yet to return. About an hour ago, the blonde had messaged her girlfriend not to wait up, as they’d probably be _ very _ late- so Blake decided to head to bed. _ Before _ , other than the lack of their teammates, it had been a fairly normal night. Ruby had seemed pretty cheerful earlier, she had even ranted about _ why _chocolate chip cookies were her favourite out of seemingly nowhere, much to Blake’s amusement at the time. This just adds to the faunus’ concern, though. Whatever is bothering the younger girl must have been on her mind for some time if she’s distraught enough to talk so late- so why had she pretended that everything was okay? 

It doesn’t really take long for Blake to come to a conclusion as to why. Ruby puts on an optimistic facade around the ones she cares about to lighten the mood, or to break the ice. It’s a habit that Blake caught onto a long time ago- she noticed the way the younger girl’s face would fall as soon they stepped into their dorm, away from public view. 

Ruby jumps off of her bunk, then silently makes her way over to Blake’s. The older woman looks up at her as she comes into view, frown deepening as she sees how puffy the areas around Ruby’s eyes are. She also notices fairly quickly that she’s shivering- the rooms in Atlas are _ pretty _ cold at their worst. Without thought, the faunus lifts up one side of the blanket, and the team leader accepts the gesture immediately, sliding into the bed beside her. For a few moments, nothing is said. Ruby stares up at the bottom of the bunk above them, and Blake watches all the subtle movements on her teammate’s face. 

Blake’s about to open her mouth and say something to break the silence when Ruby finally speaks. “...How did you do it?” She whispers mirthlessly, voice echoing throughout the mostly empty room. 

“...Do what?” Blake asks cluelessly. This… is fairly arbitrary. They haven’t talked like this for a long time. Not since-

“Figure yourself out.”

Blake’s shoulders fall, and she sighs knowingly. “Oh,” she huffs, “Trust me, Ruby, it… did _ not _ happen _ quickly _ .” She leans forward a bit in an effort to meet the eyes belonging to the girl beside her, “I mean, _ yeah _ , I came out young, but it took me _ years _ before that to feel sure enough to label anything. I was overwhelmed by the incorrect notion that once you come out as something, you can’t change it. Even _ after _ I realized that wasn’t true, I just... hated myself for feeling… _ different. _ For a _ very _long time.”

“I-I want-” Ruby chokes out, and Blake’s ears fold back against her head- she’s crying. _ Again _ . “I want that feeling to go _ away. _” She says somewhat harshly, and Blake’s heart falls.

Ruby glances up from her lap and the tears rolling down her cheeks confirm Blake’s suspicions. The faunus pulls her into a tight hug, and the younger girl immediately leans into it, her head falling to her teammate’s shoulder as she grasps at her sides. “I know, Ruby,” Blake hums affectionately, her hand moving up to cradle the back of Ruby’s head. It’s been almost 3 months since Ruby initially brought this up. When the younger girl didn’t mention it again, the faunus had assumed that she was just thinking things over- that maybe she’d already told Weiss and Yang and no one made a big deal about it. It seems that the latter half was probably wrong. “I know that it can make you feel like absolute _ shit _ . That feeling _ won’t _ be with you forever though.” She sighs. She’s well aware that hearing someone give promises with seemingly no proof like this doesn’t help at _ all. _“Look, I’m here, okay? Whatever you need.”

Ruby grips her a little harder, nodding her head slightly as she does. “I-” she hesitates, then whispers, “My dad and Yang… What if they hate me?”

“_ Hey- _ Ruby, _ no _ . They _ won’t _ hate you.” Blake says without hesitation, “They _ love _ you _ so _ much. Your sexuality won’t change that, _ especially _ with Yang.”

“What if they think I’m… broken? What if they think I’m just a _ stupid _ little girl that knows _ nothing _ abou-”

“You’re not broken for not feeling sexual attraction, Ruby, and you’re definitely _ not _ a stupid little girl- anyone with basic comprehension skills can see that.” Blake lets her chin fall to rest on the top of Ruby’s head, and leans back against the wall. “You’re a strong leader, you’re intelligent, kind-hearted. _ Nothing _ about you is stupid, _ especially _ not the way you identify. _ Sure, _ you’re _ different; _but ‘different’ and ‘bad’ aren’t contingent. People’s small differences are what make them interesting.”

Ruby lets out a slightly pained chuckle, then murmurs, “My sister’s lucky,” Blake furrows her eyebrows, “You always seem to know what to say.”

The faunus scoffs, “Not always.” she replies, “But I suppose we all have our moments.”

Ruby’s silent for a moment before muttering, “I don’t… I think I realized something else about myself. That’s what… spurred this all on.”

“Do you mind me asking what it is that you realized?” Blake murmurs, running her hand soothingly across her teammate’s back.

The younger girl shakes her head. “No, I don’t… I _ want _to talk about it with someone. I just… I guess I’m scared.”

“You don’t need to be scared to tell me anything, Ruby, and I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know, and you have _ no _idea how much it means to me to be able to talk about this with someone who won’t judge me.” Ruby admits, wrapping her own arms a little tighter around the faunus’ waist, “You’re probably the best sister-in-law I could’ve asked for.”

Blake immediately flushes red, ears pinning back against her head, “I- _ Ruby _, Yang and I aren’t even-”

“You will be one day. I can tell,” she smiles, but Blake notices the underlying sadness behind it as Ruby pulls back a little. “Which is what really got me thinking in the _ first _place. Well… about one of the things...”

“Yang and I got you thinking?” Blake asks out of confusion, eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“Yeah,” Ruby nods, “I mean, you two seem perfect together. The kind of love that everyone would want one day, you know? It made _ me _ think about having something like that in the future and I… I don’t know, it didn’t make me _ feel _anything.”

“It doesn’t appeal to you?” Blake fills in, and Ruby nods.

“Romance is just something that I never thought about, I guess, and when I actually _ did _ think about it… I realized that I don’t even think I _ want _it. I ended up coming to the conclusion that… I’m also… well, I haven’t really looked into any labels but… I think it was called aromantic.”

“Void of romantic feelings?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Blake says, taking it in stride.

Ruby squints at her, “You… _ really _don’t find that weird at all?”

“Not at all.” Blake replies, “I mean, everyone has their own interests, right? That’s just not one of yours.”

“I am _ so _glad you’re on my team.” Ruby smiles, “You’re probably the most supportive person I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“I doubt that,” Blake chuckles, “And _ Ruby, _” she smiles, “I don’t care what you identify as. As long as your morals check out, then I’ll continue to support you.” Blake thinks back over their conversation momentarily, and then her eyebrows furrow, “-Wait.”

Ruby’s eyes widen, fear making her blood go cold. “...What?”

Blake notices her fear, and is quick to reassure her, raising a hand to rest against Ruby’s bicep as she says, “No- Ruby, I’m not taking anything I’ve said back. Don’t worry.” her silver-eyed teammate relaxes a little bit, “It’s just… earlier, you said Yang and I got you thinking for _ one _of the things. Was there something else bothering you?”

“Oh,” Ruby exhales nervously, “Um… kind of.” she replies, but then falls silent. After a minute or two, Blake frowns.

“You don’t need to say anything if you aren’t ready. Forget I mentioned it-”

“I’m not a girl.”

Blake’s eyebrows raise out of shock, “Huh?”

“I don’t… I don’t _ feel _like a girl.”

“Oh…” Blake whispers, her shoulders falling as she realizes that _ this _ is probably what was _ really _ worrying her for when she talks to her sister and dad again. “Oh, _ Ruby… _” Blake hesitates, “Wait- Sorry, I… Is that name still… okay?”

“Yeah!” Ruby responds, “Yeah, I still wanna go by Ruby, I…”

Blake grasps Ruby’s hands tightly in her own. “Can I… ask you what your preferred pronouns are, then?” the faunus asks quietly.

Ruby immediately breaks down as the question leaves her lips. “How… how are you so _ okay _ with all of this? I’m a _ freak, _Blake. Why-”

“Ruby, you’re _ not _ a freak.” Blake says hurriedly, “Gender is a wide spectrum, and every _ single _ one of them is valid. _ You _are valid.”

She pulls Ruby into another crushing hug, her heart breaking as she feels her friend’s tears soak through her shirt. Ruby and Yang are alike in many ways, and Blake is finding that their strength is a big similarity. It takes true strength to be who you are, and she couldn’t be prouder of her teammate for doing just that. After a few minutes, Ruby whispers, “She/her and they/them.”

“Hmm?” Blake pulls back, not quite hearing the faint mumble.

“My pronouns,” Ruby clarifies, “I-I’m okay with both she and they. Is that… wrong? That I don’t feel like a girl but still-”

“No. No, it’s not.” Blake shakes her head, “You get to use whatever pronouns make you comfortable, okay? If ‘she’ happens to be one of them, then that’s completely okay.”

“I think what I am… how I feel…” she trails off, before pulling out her scroll with a sigh. Blake pulls back completely, looking down at the bright screen- watching as Ruby types something in quickly. After a second, she turns the scroll, holding it for the faunus to see. Blake meets her eyes momentarily before taking the scroll from her hands and looking back down at it. 

> ** _Demigender_ ** _ (from demi "half" + "gender") is an umbrella term for nonbinary gender identities that have a partial connection to a certain gender. This includes the partly female identity demigirl, and the partly male identity demiboy. _

Blake reads the paragraph carefully, taking in as much of the details as she can. “So… you feel like you’re-”

“A demigirl.” Ruby fills in with a nod, “I mean… I mostly don’t feel like a girl, but I still kind of feel… connected to it? Like I _ do, _ and I _ don’t _ at the same time, you know? That’s why I felt like the label just… _ fit. _Perfectly.”

Blake nods at her explanation. She smiles, and meets Ruby’s eyes again, “I love you, Ruby.” she says quietly, and the younger’s eyes fill with tears again. She lets out a choked laugh as Blake pulls her into another hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re perfect the way you are. Never let anyone try to change you. In fact,” she pulls back, “If anyone- and I mean _ anyone- ever _gives you a hard time, let me know and I’ll gladly kick their ass for you.”

Ruby’s eyes widen out of surprise, and then she starts to laugh. “You don’t have to do that.”

“But I _ will. _” Blake repeats, “Without a sliver of hesitation.”

Ruby smiles. “...Thank you. _ Really. _”

“As I told you last time, there isn’t any need to thank me.” Blake grins. “You’re like the sibling I never had, and I will treat you as such- that means the protectiveness too."

“_ Great, _ ” Ruby scoffs, “So now I have to deal with _ two _older sisters?”

“Damn right,” the faunus chuckles, “Because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, Ruby.”

The team leader smiles. Despite what she’d said, she’s _ so _ glad that Blake feels that way. It means more to her than she thinks the faunus even realizes. Ruby really _ is _ lucky to have someone like Blake in her life- someone to support her when she isn’t sure that anyone else will. “ _ Good _.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been another really personal chapter to an extremely personal story. 
> 
> Just as a small personal (I've used that word 3 times in two sentences- wow.) rant: It took me a really long time to both come to terms with my sexuality and gender. My sexuality was the thing I figured out first, and I only really realized my gender fairly recently. I identify as a homoromantic greyasexual. Though gender is something that doesn't matter to me in the slightest, I'd say I'm probably either nonbinary or a demigirl as I wrote Ruby here. I've never found the need to identify as a particular gender, which is why I lean so much towards nonbinary, but it's still something I'm trying to work through now. For the longest time, I wouldn't have admitted this to myself, let alone my small following on any social media platform. I haven't came out in real life with my gender yet, and I hope all goes well when I do, but while I have somewhat of an audience, I wanna say something that I wish someone knew to say when I was in my hardest place:
> 
> This stuff takes time. You won't wake up one day and just immediately know exactly how you want to identify. I initially came out as bi, and from the way I identify now, you can see I know myself a little better. It's been two years. So like I said, it takes time.
> 
> No matter how long it takes, no matter how many labels you try out- no matter anything at all: Every single one of you is valid. You are loved. You are not broken or weird for the way you are, and please remember that. It doesn't matter how you identify, you will always have a supporter in me. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.


End file.
